Children seldom respond well to being reprimanded or to being told that they are naughty. When children’s behaviour improves because we raise our voices and shout at them, they are likely responding from a place of fear.T hey easily become anxious and they may well become rebellious. Their self-esteem and feelings of self-worth certainly don't grow.
Quietly taking the time to speak kindly to a child about what they have done, and to explain why this is a problem, is a far healthier approach which rather helps to build their character. When children misbehave, we need to remind them that they are good, but that what they have done is hurtful, unkind or uncaring.
The message is that they are good, but their behaviour is not.
"You are a good boy, but what you just did isn't nice".
Your parenting voice, becomes the little voice in their heads – their subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is made up of the messages which we have gathered from the people who are significant in our lives. The subconscious mind holds all our beliefs about ourselves and about the world around us. If our behaviour and our words to our children are loving and empowering, their subconscious mind will become filled with a sense of being powerful and capable. They will grow up believing that they are innately good. In contrast, if we continually remind our children about how poorly they behave and about how they disappoint us, then this is the negative disempowering message we feed their subconscious minds.
Our voice telling them about themselves easily becomes the voice that they reflect on when thinking about themselves. Choose your words carefully…
